Nowsthetime

Hello:

I am going on vacation with my great friend and our kids. We are going to a great park in Orlando and she has scored an amazing deal with all kinds of perks and extras...

So: my AV has been going and it's almost as if I already gave myself permission to drink. I told my husband about these thoughts and how annoying it was already. He really didn't comment. He never has the right answer because he doesn't get it so I think he rather not at anything instead of saying something and messing up. I proceeded to reiterate that I won't drink (he would be super uncomfortable with drinking me going on a vacation without him) but in the back of my mind I know I have given myself that permission.

I have always had long periods of sobriety since I started this journey, right now I have almost 8 months so my AV is telling me I can moderate and then stop again. It is definitely telling me that I certainly can't get drunk but a glass would be ok. My friend knows about my sobriety and is supportive but I know she would love to have a drink with me...

Part of my plan is to post when I'm having these thought so there it is: I'm planning my "slip". I almost postponed posting but that would delight my AV.

Thanks for listening.