Hats

Well 25 days.... Well past the longest I've been sober in years. I seriously don't know how I got this far. The meetings, constant contact with my sponsor and LOTS of prayer must be helping. Seeing my Dr. and getting off of the zopiclone and adivan has given me a more positive outlook.
Last nights meeting was about Acceptance from the daily reflections book. I could totally relate on how "I" or "we" failed to lick our alcohol problem through our own devises and that we needed to accept that we were alcoholic and that we need help (god, a higher power, the AA group" to recover from our hopeless dilemma.
I think back to my last 6 months of hell (my last month was pure hell) and how I had tried everything to stop drinking. I read self help books, saw shrinks, therapists, my Dr., other programs and I couldn't seem to stop. The obsession was so strong. I would wake up in the morning, feeling like ****, my hands shaking and I'd be swearing off alcohol and telling myself I wouldn't drink today. But by the time 3pm hit, all I could think about was hitting the liquor store on the way home. Total insanity.
Today, I'm accepting my alcoholism and that I need help. Help from God and help from my fellow members who truly care about me and support from SR. SR has really given me strength and hope. I'm on here everyday reading. Thank you SR for getting me through some rough times during my short journey.
Today, I don't have that compulsion to drink. Today I'm feeling good that I'm sober.
Lots of meetings, talking to my sponsor and lots of prayer; It seems to be working so that's my focus...
Why am I typing this... IDK, I guess because I'm starting to feel better about myself and see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have hope today... I haven't had hope in a long time. So here's to another sober day everyone.