Hi Icandothis
Its probably lacking.
not to be mean but if you drank again, there's no probably about it is there?
Its great you have a supportive fiance - but I wonder if subconsciously you're relying on him to do some of the work you really should be doing yourself?
Think about the changes you need to make to stay sober. Think about the support you have whether it's enough, and whether you're using the support you have effectively.
If you've ruled out AA ok - but there's at least 3 or 4 other meeting based recovery groups and all of them have online meetings.
There's also the Rational Recovery approach.
I'm assuming rehab is not something you'd consider right now, but you could also see your Dr, or an addictions counsellor.
Yes it's hard and yes its a commitment - but it's not impossible.
If forever freaks you out it's ok to dip your toe in day by day, until you get used to the idea - but you need to take drinking off the table as a viable option.
Whatever your reason to drink - happy, sad, bored, scared, eff its - there's always another alternative.
D