With the help of learining about RR/AVRT( great threads here on SR in the Secular Connections forum) , I was able to name that obsession and separate from IT.
I hear my AV(Addictive Voice), the bark of my Beast( the desire for alcohol) "talking in my mind's ear", for the longest time IT had Me convinced , IT was ME.
I'm not, IT is and I am, but now only one of "Us" calls the shots , I Don't Drink, IT is frustrated, too bad.