Originally Posted by
GerandTwine 
You say "...the problem is I failed..." this or that. No, the problem is you are unwilling to acknowledge that you succeeded magnificently in drinking some more for five days, experiencing that wonderful orgasmic deep pleasure, and are now using your wits to make the fallout as minimal as possible.
Nice catch, GT. This a key point, LonelyShadow, because the Beast is a revisionist. It first directs your thinking towards a drink, and then lords it over you as 'proof' of failure and incompetence to abstain.
In doing so, it is subtly directing you to that next drink once again, this time by attacking your self-confidence. You did not fail; you succeeded at completing a simple task. You are in control.