You've received great advice here from people who have been there.
I just want to emphasize that domestic violence experts see choking behavior as one of the single highest predictors of serious violence to come. Even "pretend."
It sounds like you have the resources to leave and you are fortunate in having no children who are witnessing this situation. If you read more posts here you'll see such heartbreak in people trying to protect their children from their alcoholic spouses.
Dreams die hard, I know.
Sending you a hug.