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My husband was a binge drinker also.
It made for crazy making for me too.
Even though his drinking did not cause problems all the time, I walked around on eggshells all the time that there was even the thought of a drink.
I tried to make it perfect so he would not drink.
Though there had been incidents prior to us marrying, we also knew each other two years prior to the marriage.
Two weeks after our marriage he went on a bender that I will never forget.
He was so intoxicated that he broke a camera, kicked our dog, and punched a window (and messed up his hand/wrist). We had just bought a home and we were newly married. He remembered little of it the next day. It was my first experience with black out drinking.
I felt like I had to stay, because this is what I had signed up for. I promised myself that if he ever behaved like that again I would leave.
Though he continued to drink, continued to black out etc it never looked exactly like that again.....so I thought I had to stay. There was never violence in the same way, though there was driving under the influence, vomit, peeing etc. I never felt safe though when alcohol was involved, regardless of what it looked like.
That first summer (we married in April) there were three or four incidences. Eventually I stopped going out with him because it was embarrassing and not fun for me.
Because he drank to black out he remembered little of it......part of the disease of addiction is denial and he really could not see it, and thus did not see the problem and was unwilling to change. As a result in his mind the problem was me....that I would not go out with him, that I would not continue to make alcohol consumption easy for him. I had a problem with his drinking did not equal problem drinking in his mind.
I started to get better when I put the focus where it belonged....on me and my well being.