I am not my Beast.
I was talking with a friend of mine and she said that she is an addict so whatever she does, she does it in an addictive way, whether it be food or tv or substances, and it struck me as what a powerful statement that is. To identify as an addict. I no longer do that, I don't say "I'm an alcoholic." I say, "I drank alcoholically." I think that's really important. This friend of mine has never drank in an alcoholic way and smokes a bit of pot occasionally, no other drugs. Yet because of past drug use she still calls herself an addict. It makes me wonder if that's why she thinks she uses food or tv in an unhealthy way, if by telling herself that she is an addict she then acts in an addictive way. In my own story, having gotten sober using AVRT, I am no longer my Beast, I no longer listen to my AV, which would love for me to be an addict for life. I think this way of thinking is a real hindrance to recovery, to label oneself as an addict. Once and addict, always and addict. It leaves the door forever open to more use because it suggests that it never really ended. I tried to explain to her how that thought and belief is her Addictive Voice, hopefully I was able to help her start to challenge those thoughts. The belief that I am not my Beast and that I have returned to my original unaddicted state is the most powerful part of AVRT and where the true freedom lies. I am not my addiction. It's such a different philosophy from the main stream recovery movement.