Fourfiftyeight

Hi everyone

I'm on my 13th day without a drink and it's a pretty lonely journey so I thought I would join this site.

I had a bit of an epiphany a few weeks ago after a massive drinking binge where I did something absolutely unforgivable which could wreck my marriage. It was the biggest wake up call I think I've ever had and shocked me enough to make me realise that I have to quit drinking.

I've been a binge drinker for about 25 years. Even saying that freaks me out. It's been getting worse and worse in recent years and I've been blacking out loads and losing huge chunks of my evenings - and days sometimes.

A few weeks ago I did something awful that I would never have done if I was sober. If my husband finds out, our marriage will be over and I'll lose everything that really matters to me. I've been very stupid and I'm very scared. I'm really hoping that I won't be judged here for my terrible behaviour. I'm trying to sort my life out at last and any support or advice would be much appreciated.