closest i can think is like the "thing" between me and crack. i am nine years out and 1000% certain i will never EVER get near that stuff again. gave enough of my life and self-respect.
i cannot allow myself the luxury of reminiscing, romanticizing, or ever talking about crack. i cannot watch a movie with people smoking crack, or stupid Intervention, or any other documentary or program that seems to think we all need to see that crap. i have a spontaneous aversion.
but since addiction is at best in remission i do have dreams, i do have moments of euphoric recall, i do hear the quiet voice now and then......i simply cannot engage in discussion or argument or debate with the voice. no can do. that voice must stay as unheard as possible.