Originally Posted by
Florence 
I am struck with the dissonance between knowing what's down that road, how terrible and soul-killing it is and would be for everyone involved, and still having the chemistry to want it a little bit.
When I started the recovery process with SR, we talked a lot about being programmed to be attracted to things that are bad for us. I'm six years out and I still feel the pull.
Could you be inexperienced when it comes to healthy relationships like the one that you're currently in, and maybe even though it's better, it is also uncomfortable? Then, subconsciously you become attracted to the chaos of what you're "used" to even though you know better...
Just food for thought because it sounds like you have a great relationship now with someone who is healthy.