Dear Britgir.,
I'm sorry to hear of how you were/are being treated.
Yep, he sounds like a jerk, no one deserves to be treated like he has treated
you. It hurts, don't it? WORDS hurt.
Anyway, I've learned the hard way that the affected persons recovery is their
business, and your codependency recovery is your business.
Try going to a support group, embrace the help YOU need, let him take of
his own needs.
Hugs to you, and know that we SR cares.
Keep posting, we do read the threads
TF