Hi Mancini,
I'm 26 days sober now. I went inpatient and then to a rehab early this summer. When I got out, the first thing I wanted was a drink. But that craving left me within an hour or so and I was sober for around a month before I started up again. My situation was that I was living in Airbnbs and felt really adrift and also felt like I could not go home. No excuse - that's just how it went.
Anyhow, this go-round I realized that I have all of the "tools" I need to stay sober, I just wasn't using them. Also I realized that the toolbox wasn't doing my any good if it stayed in the shed until I experienced a craving; that was too late! I need to stay busy and focused on my recovery/discovery every day all day.
Naltrexone works well for a lot of people and if it works for you, you might even be able to get an injection instead of having to take the pills every day. Acamprosate works best for me and I am pleased as can be. I still have thoughts about drinking, but because I take the medication and have the support of my friends and family plus AA plus Intensive Outpatient treatment, I don't obsess at all about drinking.
I understand being resistant to inpatient rehab on a number of levels. In my humble opinion, I think you might be better served this go-round with outpatient treatment and actually doing the work to use what you learned in inpatient. My IOP does detox during the day on site (I think usually it's just one day then they send people home with medication). If your fiance or someone is available to be with you and watch for signs of serious withdrawal, that might work.
You're getting a lot of opinions and good input here. I encourage you to ask people who care (ideally including people familiar with substance abuse) what they think you should do at this juncture. I know when I was drinking and for weeks beyond, I could not decide what was right for me.
Getting and staying sober is not easy, but I swear it gets better in a hurry if you put your mind to it!
O