My heart hurts for you as you could be describing me when I was drinking. I stopped because I got so scared when I thought about where my life was going and I was close to losing my child. I drank 3 hours out of detox.😳.I drank at work to control the shakes.I remember the horror of having to go to work as you describe. I was blessed to never get a DUI. I should have. I was prescribed Naltrixone and went to AA. It saved me. I'm 101 days now and still scared I will relapse. Life is so very good sober. Keep reading and posting. I read Allan Carr and other websites on alcohol and recovery. You can do this. 💙