Originally Posted by
sobersolstice 
For those who have relapsed many times and have managed a year or more sober, what was the breaking point, or mental shift that gave you the 'confidence' and steadfastness to remain sober?
I feel like I need to restructure my life completely to stop drinking due to the fact that so much of my recreational life is part of it. I just hate the lack of freedom to drive, go do things on a whim with friends, feeling I need a drink before a date, or even meeting with people. I'm late to time sensitive things because I feel I need to chug a few beers before going to some event.
How did you configure your life and mental state in order to say "I'm done for good"? I've said this on many a hangover day, but then I begin feeling better and repeat the vicious cycle.
I'm eating healthier and getting out more; I'm drinking less, but still find it a problem, which could get out of hand at times. I'm better at limiting myself and am rarely hungover anymore, but I still feel cloudy and dull. I'm drinking 5-6 light beers a day on avg. This is a problem because I know I have an alcohol addiction, and it's catching up to me on a health level. I used to be far worse and was hungover everyday, so it's a step in the right direction (maybe), but I know I need to cut it out to be the strongest version of myself.
What was your breaking point and what methodologies did you employ to make it work?
Yesterday was my birthday, and friends (who drink occasionally) that couldn't make it are offering to take me to bars over the weekend. I have the hardest time saying no, because I'm honestly lonely quite a bit. Just turned 40, no family, no gf... a little bummed out.
Nice to read all the replies, really good to understand everyones story.
For me, there was lots of issues that were dragging me to the realisation that things had to change. After a few periods of sobriety ranging from a few weeks to a year I knew life was good without drink and worse with. But i was stuck in the rut of drinking to manage emotional hurt and numbing stuff which obviously compounds that pain. I was tired, broken and health was showing warning signs. Family worried. That wasn't really enough as had carried on before knowing that anyway. Selfish, but as we all know, not deliberately so. Divorced from wife a few years back which prompted the year off, longest since i was 18, but started up again. It was the break up from my latest relationship that brought things to a head. Not only did i feel the regret of beer causing such a loss, but i knew that I'd reached a watershed. Beer had caused enough pain and damage to me and those who love me. I'm 8 weeks to the day today, which has been tough as I'm having to really feel the emotions of my break up. But I'm moving forward and feeling stronger (though fragile in some ways), making amends and learning. That's the big change. Education and focus.
I met me ex yday and i felt good. Nearly 2 months clean. I think she could tell, esp as i have lost weight and look better.
We might have lots of straws or one final. But it's keeping it as the last one that counts. That's my focus.