I had a moment I became aware of my self talk about drinking. I heard myself say: "I don't care about anything I just want to get drunk and stay that way." Before then I didn't realize how much trouble I was in. At the moment I figured it out I became very afraid. Afraid enough to try and break free. It still was a lot of work and I could have screwed up many times. I took it very seriously and spent countless hours on here each night keeping it foremost until I was stronger.