Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
well Stacy, you CAN'T make it work all by yourself. while his drinking most definitely affects you, it is HIS thing to deal with......or not. it would be like trying move a king size waterbed mattress full of water all by yourself. you can push it, poke it, pull it, kick it, cuss at it, beg it.........but it is simply BIGGER than you are.
he could make the decision to tackle his drinking head on RIGHT NOW. he doesn't need to wait until the marriage is solid, or until after the holidays, only in even years, or any other EXCUSE. and until he chooses to address the elephant in the room, the dance will go on.
what are you doing to take care of you? outside and away from him. have you heard of or looked into Alanon? that is a fabulous source of support. you could also consider INDIVIDUAL therapy, but it is never recommended to attempt couples counseling until the addiction had been addressed.
I truly have never stopped taking care of me. I work full time, take care of our kids & house. I exercise, journal, spend time with family & friends. It is just sad that we live together & over this past year have started to become roommates. I went to a few Alanon meetings but it was a few years ago & I went to counseling but I really feel I am at a point of if I do not want to live with this & he does not want to change. It is probably best to separate.