Married 10 years to an AH
Hello. I'm new here.
I've been married to an AH for 10 years. We have 2 kids together - 6 year old and 16 months
I never knew how much he drank until we got married. When we were dating he was Mr. Wonderful. Always taking me out, bringing me gifts and he would have a glass of wine with dinner or a couple of beers when we would hang out.
If I could turn back time, and knew how much he drank, I wouldn't have married him.
I don't have love or respect for him anymore. I'm just here because I'm not financially ready to leave.
Whenever I would try to discuss issues we have as a couple, it's always my fault, I make things worse, I'm immature, and there's something wrong with me. He's also addicted to sex and when I would say no, he would make me feel horrible and guilty for refusing. So, I would just lay there and pretend I'm enjoying myself. I hate empty drunk sex.
I'm 36 years old and I feel like I'm wasting away my life. I just try my best to be a good mother to our kids.