I know for me I attempted to rationalize my situation with what I thought was logic and common sense. Trying to use normal thinking for a non-normal situation. Of course a social life filled with kids, family, friends, vacations, exercise, church would be a normal welcome in life but not to many alcoholics. What you and I and others see as good, happy, coming together family time is often seen by the alcoholic as a brick wall of responsibility and accountability which are usually the first two casualties of addiction.
And I also learned that expecting an alcoholic to think about someone else’s feelings or their past and how current situations can be a reminder of past hurts, is expecting a lot, sadly.