Agoodman....I don't think one has to come from a traumatic childhood to know that it is not a good thing to neglect a family in favor of drinking time at a bar..or elsewhere.
Alcoholism is progressive and the pull to be where one can freely drink, is strong. A bar is one sure place where drinking is sanctioned and approved of....plus, being in the company of other drinkers feels like being among accepting "friends".
I am not surprised that you don't relate to that, because you are not an alcoholic.
At a certain point, an alcoholic needs to drink to feel "normal"....
And, of course, the fact that drinking pushes away other bad feelings.
When she mentions social life...I don't think that she is talking about exercise, camping, going to church, etc.
I am quite sure, that, in her mind, she is not deliberately drinking against you and her kids...or does she design to hurt you all (even though it DOES).....she is just doing what alcohollics do...they drink.....
I think that Wells has given you some good advice. I think it might be a good idea to read Well's story...from the beginning, when he came to the forum.......