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Old 09-06-2017, 01:49 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Wells
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 216
Just wanted to add to the chorus.

I know those talks well and they never ended good. It took a while to not take the hateful words or attacks personally. Consider it's just that alcohol is her first love, and you are trying to take that away or talk badly about that love, and she's defending it. That's really all it boils down to. Unfortunately it is tough to hear and it hurts when the anger flows like that, but when you realize it's all because it's the alcohol fighting back at you for trying to take it away, it makes a lot more sense. Not any easier, just makes sense.

I would concur with everyone who says that right now there are a few things at play -- Your girlfriend isn't willing to give up drinking despite the fact you've expressed the issues it is causing to your relationship with her, so right now, the ranking is #1 alcohol, and you, either #2, or further down her list.

At this point you try and disengage. Find a quiet corner of your home to go and read, or out of the house, any time she is drunk or drinking. Don't engage in any conversations with her at all when alcohol is involved. I found this tough at first but it helped with sanity and also helps you calm down a bit. Basically, you just remove yourself from her life when she is with her #1. As much as you possibly can. Spend that time however you want, even if it is here talking about the situation, just try and not engage with her at all when she is drinking. It's also a good trial or stepping stone for seeing what a potential life without the drama of her drinking would be like for you.

Sorry that your interaction with her was bad but it really is standard stuff and has happened to pretty much all of us here when we have tried to talk our SO's out of drinking.
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