Thanks everyone,
I am going it again. I have worked at this several times, each time I fail, I try something a little different, meetings, talking with friends, posting here, reading, etc...
In the end, I realize it is up to me and my ability to stick with it. My mind, and the ability for it to make up reasoning I for some reason believe is what I am working on defeating.
I am on day 3 again. I have 'stopped' several times, making it a month here, 2 months there, usually after 1-3 weeks, I give in to the AV, and then I usually end up on a week of drinking. It does give me positive feelings knowing it wasn't 'easy' for anyone. The feeling of dread coming here and posting or going to a meeting saying I failed again can be quite a frustrating and almost embarrassing feeling.
Thanks everyone for all the support for myself and for everyone who comes here.