I feel like I'm codependent also, and the thought of not having her in
my life is very scary.
Aside from the codependency, it is scary moving forward to think that the life we thought we were going to have with the person we love might not in fact turn out the way we had hoped it would.
Working through that codependency issue with knowledge, counseling, therapy, al-anon, is the way we learn to free ourselves from ourselves, our unhealthy thoughts, our obsessive thoughts and our over sense of being responsible to fix another human being because we love them. It’s often extremely difficult to work on our own issues while we are so obsessed with someone else’s.
The other night she told me that people who don't drink are weird and how could anybody possibly have any fun socially without drinking?
That statement shows you just how much of her life is centered around alcohol. Addiction lives in the same part of their brain that tells them to breath.
Now you want to tell her to stop breathing, no that is not going to go over very well and don’t be surprised if she chooses the booze over the relationship.
That is why you need to be fully prepared before you even open up to a discussion, debate and eventfully an argument about her drinking.
Are you really prepared to step away? Are you fully prepared for the outcome of her choice of either you and the relationship or the booze? She’s had that relationship with the booze longer then she’s had one with you.
I think most of us codies were not fully prepared for confronting them about their addictions and we become further lost in our issues if a drug/alcohol is chosen over us. Maybe seek out some counseling first for you and your codependent issue so that if and when the talk does not go the way you hope it will, you are better prepared to handle it.