Originally Posted by
Thomas59 
I get it that we could suffer if a potential employer knew you were alcoholic or in your scenario with the hairdresser . Yes definately a stigma and subject for gosspis .
I am not saying we should have an out and proud alcoholic rally.
I worked in security for 6 years and to be honest I dont know if I would have been granted the SIA licence ( security industry authority ) If I disclosed alcoholism on the form so yes I do get what your saying .
I think what I am trying to get across is that some of us just might cause ourselves unnecessary anxiety by keeping our alcoholism TOO secret ,like form everyone .
Dee I also am a very private person and only open up to key people .
John Lewis just fell into one of my examples of " don't offend ,upset anyone " .
I absolutely agree with this. And for me it goes even further.
I am certain I wouldn't be sober today if I didn't say out loud to people that I don't drink anymore. The label didn't matter to me and in fact I couldn't even say "I'm an alcoholic", but until I started to identify as someone who couldn't drink I struggled to get sober. I tried and was unsuccessful multiple times when I kept my attempts to myself.
I live in a small town, the same one that I grew up in and have a very public job. I got 3 DUI's and spent 14 months without a driver's license and a car. I walked 2 miles to and from work every day and everyone knew why. It was really important for me to own that and to get used to what it felt like to "wear it." Yes, there is a social stigma. Yes, I heard a lot of things that made me and others uncomfortable. Yes, there may have been a time or two when it cost me something (nothing that couldn't easily be overcome or forgotten about).
The perpetuation of the stigma was a tremendous obstacle for me ever finding sobriety. And many people aren't even actively aware that they believe in the stigma. When I had been sober for 10 months, my oldest friend that I have known since I was 5 years old asked me "How much longer are you going to not drink?" He's not an alcoholic and so he doesn't understand why anyone would stop.
I didn't attend AA when I got sober but 10 years into sobriety I attended several meetings when a cousin of mine asked me to take him to some meetings. They resonated with me even then. I felt tremendous relief. And really, until that point I didn't call myself an alcoholic. And when I said to my mother, who had suffered the embarrassment of having a son who was such a public drunkard in such a small town, "Mom, I'm an alcoholic" she was visibly disappointed. Even after 10 years of sobriety, rehabilitation and healing from all the things I had done, she still felt shame just to hear that label attached to someone in her family.
Good thread. I am absolutely unashamed that I'm an alcoholic.