Good day!
Hope you are all having a great day.
I am enjoying a coffee and feel good, going to AA tonight and also meeting with a guy who offered to sponsor me.
Have a lot of thought on my mind, though.
As i probably mentioned before I moved from Denmark to Norway this spring, but that move seemed to be a wrong turn into a dead end for me, I didn't like the job at all once I got started, and I live in really poor conditions, and even before I fell back into drinking I though of changing job a lot, and even applied and interviewed for other jobs, even though I did not get these.
I am a landscape gardener, and ever since I started this career I have struggeled to find a job i really enjoy, partly because a lot of work in this field these days are done by immigrant workers from Eastern Europe, who work at minimum wage and generally press down work conditions to a minimum (No offense to Eastern European people, many of my collegues are great individuals - it's just the trend in my occupation, that makes things hard).
I told myself several times that I job I would really fancy would be to work as a graveyard gardener - I think this job would offer a deeper spiritual meaning, and it's a more pedictable work situation - I will have one specific place to work, and predicable work hours - until now I worked a lot, many days with 10-12 hours of tough physical work on construction sites all across the area.
Now I just saw the position as graveyard gardener is up at the very graveyard where my grandparents and my family several generations back are buried, a job I have been hoping to get many times. But that would mean moving back to Denmark abandoning my plans to live in Norway.
I have been in Denmark since i quit drinking, to feel safe and be by my relatives - and I have been scared thinking about going back to Norway, as I am all by myself there in a tough situation.
Yet I am also scared about making big descitions now in early recovery. Also my GF had planned to move to Norway with me, she has always dreamt about living there - but I feel I have so little to offer up there, with a job i dislike and living in bad place.
I need to think this through - but I sense here in Denmark, i have my roots, my relatives and better options getting a stable life to support my recovery...