Well, day 11 into taking the Wellbutrin and I hit my absolute bottom. And here I was thinking that the brain fog was bad. The medication just seemed to make my symptoms a lot worse. I was completely disorientated, confused and scared to my wits end. Through all that torment I felt absolutely hopeless and I just wanted end it all. I have NEVER had such bad suicidal feelings in my life. Prior to even taking the medication I can honestly say that the PAWS symptoms I was having were at least bearable. I am now off the Wellbutrin and already I am beginning to feel much better. However I still feel a bit unstable from the stress it has caused me. Hopefully it has not caused further damage and I can at least recover back to where I left off as I am still feeling quite fragile from it.
My pdoc says that she finds it strange that the Wellbutrin didn't work for me. She has now recommended that I get put on another AD. However from having had such a bad experience from it I am afraid to even go the route of being put on another AD .
So I have decided that I am going to go back to basics, back to my normal routine of how I used to do things without the meds and see where that takes me. I can honestly say things were alot better before I was on the meds and for that very reason I will remain off them. I feel confident that if I just bite the bullet through this period and stick to living a healthy lifestyle (meetings, excercise, step work) then I am well on my way to recovery. I don't EVER want to be put through that torment again.
