It's sounds like you're on the right path, behindblueyes. Sadly breaking a thing is easier and faster than fixing one.
In my case it wasn't so much that people didn't want anything to do with me, it was more that I spent many years keeping them at arms length. Living in a wine bottle is a lonely way to exist but I didn't think so at the time.
Somewhere along the way I think we all need to learn to let go. Let go of the mistakes and pain and even the regret. I have tried as best as I can to make peace with the past. I can't go back and change it so the best thing I can do is make sure I don't repeat it.