Dealing with GFs health issues
I am one week and one day sober since my latest relapse.
I have a long distance relationship, my GF lives in another country some 2000km away.
I have learned lately that my GF suffers from some kind of heart problems, I do not know exactly what - but she faints, get problems with her heart rythm - probalby severe problems dealing with stress and possibly panic attacks.
I struggle a lot feeling guilt about her health issues, and - reading between the lines of our conversations, I do feel she blames it all on me and my drinking problem - which I am dealing with very seriously at the moment.
I really try to convince myself this can't be blamed on me, she must have a physical, medical condition with her heart - which can not be blamed in any way on weather or not a person 2000km away picks up a drink or not.
I try my best to be suuportive and give her advice to seek out a doctor, look after herself, focus on her own treatment and follow medical advise - but I am left feeling very down and guilty and putting a lot of blame on myself for her condition.
Even if my drinking did put stress and worries on her mind, it should not cause her having uneven heartbeat or any other sort of physical health issues, I think.
But it certainly causes me a lot of stress and worries now, and knocks out a lot of the hope I gained in recent days.
I want to help and support her, but i really struggle because i feel weighed down by the guilt i put on myself (and I feel she puts on me as well) for this...