Celebrating Eleven Months of Sobriety
Whew, it's been a whirlwind of a year. Sometimes it seems unreal, like a dream. I had hoped that I would be coping with it better now, but I still struggle.
Reading up on Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, they say that it could take a hard longtime drinker like myself two years to fully recover. Two years? Nah, that can't be true.
But I think it is. I'm still trying to get the cobwebs out of my head. I'm still socially awkward and often frightened.
It takes a long time.
Then I put it into perspective. Try to, anyway.
I am a machinist by trade. It took me many years to become accomplished and a professional at my job. Oh, I thought I had it all figured out after a year or so. I didn't.
It took me a few relationships to become a good, balanced partner. To leave ego and selfishness behind and become the man I needed to be in the relationship. I thought I was doing right back in the past, and I'd have argued and fought to defend myself. I was a child in adult's clothing.
I started off as a blogger and toiled for years, and now I get paid to write for my favorite magazine. It took a long, long, time to become a good writer.
I've been working out. I let my body go to hell in all those drinking years. I go to the gym, I hike, I try to eat sensibly. I'm making progress, but it's a long, slow road.
My point is, the things that are really worth doing? They don't come overnight. They take endless discipline, patience, and even suffering.
After forty+ years of solid drinking, it takes a long time to become a fully realized sober person. I'm not there yet.
But.
Things are immeasurably better. I'm feeling healthier by the day. Things are falling into place, just as certain people assured me would happen. I'm beginning to have the courage to make changes in my life, and not just in drinking, but in my career. People tell me that I look great.
Next month is that Holy Grail of recovery, ONE YEAR. There's no turning back now. If nothing else, these past eleven months have proven to me in no uncertain terms just how much of a toll alcohol has taken on my life.