welcome,Fmrinv.
"Why would I be the reason he wants to relapse?"
im answering this from the addict alcoholic side:
its not the reason why. its the excuse why.
IF you were to not take responsibility for him using again( i dont believe in calling them relapses- they are pre meditated drunks) then he would find another excuse.
what i read is an addict/alcoholic in the throws of active alcoholism/addiction, which can also be when a person isnt drinking/using because they havent done anything but stop drunking/drugging- a dry drunk.
many people wanted me to be clean and sober.
that wasnt going to happen until I wanted to be clean and sober and was willing to do whatever was necessary to make that happen. people carrying me into recovery- doing the footwork i was capable of doing myself- wasnt going to get me clean and sober nor keep me that way.
onto you- the real problem here:
why you keep trying to rescue someone that wont put in the footwork to help themselves.
ya dont deserve to be treated like a doormat.