Addict left me?
hi there!
I'm in need of advice and support as I'm feeling very confused.
I've been with an addict for over 5 years. I have seen him at his lowest points. I myself am sober and have never been an addict. I don't drink or smoke so I was always good for him to be around. I was there for him when he was in and out of jail. All of his family are alcoholics, and all of his friends either drink or do drugs. He was on probation so he was having to stay sober.
I supported his sobriety for a long time. A few months ago he suddenly broke up with me out of the blue. He told me our relationship has no potential and that everything is my fault. We were broken up for 2 months. He reached out to me and said he missed me. He admitted to me that he had began smoking weed and drinking a lot. A couple weeks went by and we were doing good. Then we got into one fight and he suddenly broke up with me right away. He blamed me again. 2 months went by again. He reached out to me and said he missed me. This time he told me he was sorry for always hurting me, and sorry for always ending things with me and blaming me. He admitted to me that it was never my fault, it was his drug use. He said he blamed me but knew it was because of drugs. This time he admitted he was using cocaine again and drinking nearly every day. He admitted that his family enables his addiction and that he needs to cut a lot of people off. He went to an NA meeting and seemed like he wanted to actually stay sober this time.
About 10 days later, he suddenly got mad at me because he hates my best friend and I went to see her for about an hour. He didn't like me spending time with her. He flipped on me and suddenly told me that he was mad for making him cut off all these people, but i didn't make him do that. He said he knew he needed to. He told me that everyone was fine the 2 months we were away from eachother until we came back into eachothers life and he said that I ruined everything. He then told me that I make him more angry than anyone and that if he stays with me he will relapse. This killed me because I'm the 1 person in his life who wants him to be completely sober and the 1 person who is sober myself. We broke up that day and haven't spoken since. It's been about a week now.
I'm having a hard time understanding this. I'm the only person who supports his sobriety 100%. His family and friends all do drugs and drink. Why am I the reason he wants to relapse? I have given everything I have to this 1 person, I love him more than anything ever, and have been there for him through everything and through all the hurt he's caused me.
Why would I be the reason he wants to relapse?
I asked him what he was going to do now,
He said he was going to stay sober and find a better job.
Why does it seem his life will be so much better without me now?
I'm feeling so down and confused.
Thank you
-fmr