Originally Posted by
Outonthetiles 
D122y, that two years wasn't a lie over the past year. That was good work and two slips shouldn't affect how you feel.
I think this was a pretty minor slip and I think you're being a little hard on yourself. It happened, it's over. The important thing is that you talked about it and came up with a game plan for next time.
Thank you.
Definitely minor slips. But, they could have began to add up w the rationalization continuing and growing into a standard addiction move....hiding my drinking etc.
We all here have a desire to stop drinking. I mostly have tried to help those struggling w the crave from a science angle. Working steps etc and failing can be a huge let down leading one to just give up. The dopemin thing is real. Resetting my clock was a looming shadow. Glad I did it.
I told my AA f2f folks about my drink in June 2016. They didn't react negatively. I will tell them, soon enough, about this last drink.
I am not special or different. I am an addict.
Some of the things folks said to me in this thread hurt me. But, for me, that is tough love. I have hurt folks here sometimes w my short, curt, science solutions.
Resetting my sober clock is honest and part of how I have learned is the right thing to do to stay clean.
The 840 days clean is science. My body and mind have healed dramatically.
But, after that shot Sunday, something in my brain felt different and not in a good way. All those clean days didn't erase, but my brain still feels a bit shocked. Scary.
Normies and those not aware of clocks resetting respect my clean time way more than my transgressions.
All the folks here, whether they said nice things, mean things or in between....all want to help. I get it.
My AV had found a way to potentially slowly lure me into the hell hole I had crawled out of.
Cunning and baffling.
God bless us all.
Thanks.