tomsteve,
I WANT to be sober, over the past few years I can go for months (8-9) at a time. I don't even crave the booze.......and then one day something in my mind snaps. I begin to tell myself "I'm gonna get hammered". I seem to forget the nightmare that comes with it, the one I'm in now.
I'm ashamed to even post here, feeling like a failure, like my words of encouragement to others in the past mean nothing, like now I am just a worthless drunk who needs to wake up.
I don't know what else to do at this very moment, but ask for help and forgiveness.