Originally Posted by
redatlanta 
I don't think there is anything wrong with a mild flirting that doesn't cross the line, its always nice to feel desired. The problem is when that feeling crosses the line of desiring the person BACK when you are in a relationship. Big, Red, Flag.
I have to say that after all this time if this man is saying you are the woman of his dreams, and I don't mean this derogatory toward you at all because I think you are fantastic, but there is something wrong with him to hold on to a 25 years old fantasy that was never anything but a friendship. If this was some true love match the stuff movies are made for why did this man not swoop in when you got divorced? Now you are in another serious relationship, and he is telling you that you are the one? This guy has commitment issues as he is pursuing someone who is not available, and has not been for most of the time.
My guess if you actually started dating him it would "poof" be over before it started on your side. Here you are in another relationship - and I am sure you have told him how happy you are - yet he continues to dangle carrots and tell you "you are the one"!.
Did it ever occur to you something is wrong with this person to continue to pursue someone YOU whom is not available for 25 years?
He did try right after I got divorced but I was already dating my guy. I didn't have a lot of down time, as you might remember. And, yes, I agree that there is something wrong here.....both with him and with me.
I cannot do platonic with this man, as Wisconsin has suggested. not going to happen. I was drawn to him 20 plus years ago, I know we had a connection but neither of us acted on it or talked about it. We started talking about it when I was newly in my relationship with my bf and we admitted to having a connection but that we knew it was inappropriate to address it so we didn't.
Anyway, this whole thread is in the past. I have so much on my mind right now. Career pressure is killing me and I've never been so down and depressed EVER. I really can't distract myself with this other 'guy' and I honestly am not even sure I want to focus on my guy either. There's a big part of me that thinks SparkleKitty is right....I need more time alone as a single woman, possibly forever.....because I'm truly a crappy girlfriend and I have no freaking clue what I want or need or what is normal in romantic relationships at all.
Single is looking pretty darn good.