****{Rose}}}
Well you did a good job describing my house! With the teenager, the "question", him stepping in, him saying "she's manipulating you" but not doing anything about it, then who's getting the raw end? Oh yea. I'm almost positive my dd will start the whole game off on purpose, the voice raising.........getting everyones attention now....then she can stand back and watch myself and dh do battle. I know how hard it is to detach from this once it starts snowballing
The spring break trip @ 16? I would say NO. She can go @ 18, 19, 20...it'll still be going on.
The easiest thing to detach for me in the middle of this is to force myself to leave and go for a walk. Sometimes literally putting my hand over my mouth & mumbling "I'll be right back" and Daffodil suggestion is excellent, I'll put the headphones on with Melody Beatties Guide to 12 Steps in, and start walking. Maybe it is selfish, but I need to do what I need to do for me to keep my head. And I need to stop playing this game with them. It's like they feed off of each other and I'm the one who is always left feeling like what's her name in the Exorcist!
Keep taking care of yourself Rose, and like they say, the rest will come!