Cupidstunt (hilarious name btw!) Just popping by to say hi and welcome! It's not that you're necessarily kidding yourself (but you could well be) it's just that I and many others round here have experienced how progressive this thing is. It creeps up on you like the insidious creature it is. I know what I am. I'm an alcoholic. I'll never undo that. Ever. The only way for me is total abstinence forever.
The topic of moderation does tend to open up a bit of a can of worms round these parts but of course we all find our own way that works for us (if we are fortunate and work hard at it)
You sound like perhaps you are still quite young? Anyway that aside recognising you have a problem (albeit borderline?) is a good start. Best thing you can do IMO is get really honest. With yourself I mean. Read around here. There are so many great threads, great people, great support too.
But PLEASE don't underestimate what this thing can do to you over time. The lads nights out won't last forever and then what?
Take care and stick around! xx