I can relate heavily right now. I'm also caught up on a recent ex-girlfriend and the daily emotions of having her gone are still so difficult to overcome.
Today is Day 5 of sobriety, she told me she didn't love me anymore 7 days ago. The pain, guilt, shame, embarrassment, anxiety, depression, has been almost defeating. I ruined the relationship with my drinking and I can accept that now.
On Day 5 of sobriety, I'm already seeing with my rational self how this relationship likely wouldn't have been a positive one for me in the long run. I was just over at her house the other night (because I'm a glutton for punishment apparently and I still hope she is changing her mind) and she cracked a beer open right in front of me and said, "I hope you don't mind." She knows how fresh I am into recovery and how important it is. Hell, her dumping me was the push I finally needed.
Point being, every day you will see things clearer. Rationally, I'm moving on from her. Emotionally, I'm still so stuck on her I fear relapse every hour right now. The two alternate all day, every day, the AV being in there as well, trying to convince me to just drink my feelings away.
Then I think about where that's lead me. Depressed, alone, and miserable.
Best of luck moving on, it isn't easy.
Congrats on being back to Day 2
