Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Here's my two cents for what it's worth.
There are basically two types of people that go into rehab. The first type are those who do not take their situation seriously and intend to pick up as soon as they're discharged. The second type are those who, at a minimum, are aware that their situation has become untenable. What's the breakdown between the two? I don't know exactly, but my intuition tells me type 1 outnumbers type 2 by a fair margin.
For addicts in the second group, they understand that their lives are in the balance, and they have to start making different, healthier choices. When faced with that stark reality, they have to be very self focused and they have to live their lives on a moment-by-moment basis. Suddenly, romantic relationships have to take a back seat to survival. After all, you can't be a good partner in a romantic relationship if you have to focus on getting better.
I don't know your ex fiancée from a hole in the wall. But what I do know is you're going to have to do something you don't want to do, and that's allow things to take their natural course. If you love her, you'll give her all the space and time she needs to get better. And she either will or she won't. Either way, it's out of your hands now.
Keep the focus on you, because you have to recover from this, too.