I'm not sure its about being passive or weak. In any case they're not very constructive terms IMO.
I know as a drinker I had so little self esteem that I sought external validation all the time - how other people treated me determined my worth...
but I got more self confident when I stayed sober and started to rely more on my own internal compass for validation.
Not having to dig myself out of financial crises every fortnight helped a lot too.
I think you do have the strength in you Sweetichick - it's time to start using it again
D