Hi Blu!
I can't say that I can relate exactly to your specific experience but I can relate to loving someone who loved me or so we thought.
What is more true for me, is to accept at that time we enabled each others misery, and today I wouldn't want what I had before, as that wasn't good for me or for him.
Sometimes people find each other and they feed off each others bad habits or addiction, then when you're clean and sober it's just not the same. I'm not saying that is the case for you, but something to think about.
It's a lonely time for me right now, and I'm learning to live with that one day at a time.
Maybe he's struggling right now with his own addiction and trying to find that path that will keep him clean.
I'm not saying give up, give him the same support he gave you, but we always have to remember to give that support without expectations of receiving anything in return.
Congrats to you on your success over the demon!