Hi all, yes i'm paying for it today in a way. I didn't drink much. I skipped out and found an open bar, had a glass of awful wine. Did NOT feel better. Of course.
I've never suffered from physical withdrawals, it's always been the psychological noise. So crazy making!!
Dee, your advice about doing mundane things was very helpful. I went back to grocery shopping and planning recipes.
As far as breathing goes, I just struggle with that so much. I must have tried two-in-four-out breaths for an hour! I also held my breath a lot. Ha.
There's a lot of issues with me financially and medical care. I can't afford to get it just yet. The OTHER issue with anxiety meds is, I am an addict. I find something that eases my pain and it becomes my favorite shiny thing and my crutch and my best friend. When I was younger, I was horribly addicted to xanax. Other pills followed. It was so wonderful to experience the quiet and the attention span and the focus and calm etc. I ended up on vicodin and oxy and it's a chapter of my life I refuse to revisit. So medication is a very slippery slope.
I'm trying to stay clean and natural and herbal and do my yoga. Nothing seems to be able to quench an attack here and there.
I'm not saying it's ok I had wine, but I am impressed that I didn't go into a full blown binge. I feel like I capped it off and got myself through the awful night. That's new. It was unpleasant enough to remind me that I am not a one glass kind of gal, though. It was a struggle and not pleasurable in that romantic way you think drinking again will be. It's pretty much the same! Lame!
I do not do well with guilt. I rebel and lash out. So, I am trying to avoid that feeling....
I'm still here.
Thank you for your comfort and support, all of you