zoso77

As I sit down to type this, I'm sitting at the counter of our new home, which is a 1,200+ square foot loft in the downtown section of our city. It's a corner unit on the top floor of a newly renovated old mill building that's been turned into modern lofts. We have exposed bricks, exposed wooden beams, huge windows that overlook the city, granite countertops, etc. One of my oldest buddies jokingly referred to it as "the penthouse", and while I think that's hyperbolic, there's no question it's the best unit in the building.

Not that everything's going smoothly. We have yet to receive a microwave, and since these microwaves have dispersion fans mounted on the bottom, the absence of this unit has been disruptive since we've set off the smoke detectors twice in the past 48 hours cooking on the stove. Our dryer is not ready for use, either, as there is a mismatch between the dryer's load and the circuitry used to drive it. We have to wait for a written go ahead from the engineers that the rating mismatch will not create an electrical safety issue.

Work's been nuts. My promotion this past spring has brought new leadership responsibilities. And while I have a reputation for being affable, a senior engineering lead on one of our major programs -- a guy I have to report to -- learned the hard way what happens when you cross me. He pulled something highly unprofessional during a teleconference of about 20 people, and within 30 seconds, I embarrassed him to the point where he was forced to call me two days later to apologize. Of course, I accepted his apology, and we have a solid professional relationship now, but the 20 people who were witness to this incident probably took notice this electrical engineer won't put up with any crap from anyone.

My fiancée and I had an unfortunate run in with one of our closest friends and his fiancée at the beginning of the summer. I won't get into the details other than my fiancée was in the wrong and we all had an opportunity to do heavy lifting to work past it. Sadly, our friend -- who is like a younger brother to me -- doesn't have my capacity for reason and we remain estranged. For how long, I don't know. My fiancée will have to make amends at some point, but she's not going to set herself on fire if they don't want to talk to her.

The event in question, in an odd way, brought us closer. It's worth noting that I was furious with her for about a day -- long enough to convey it -- and then I worked on letting it go. She's a fiercely independent woman -- one of the many reasons why I love her -- but in the wake of this event, she was spending more nights at my old place than not because she wanted to be with me.

And in 11 days, we leave for St. Lucia to get married. We get married in 17 days, on the beach.

Some wounds don't necessarily heal. I was in a sub shop last week when a song that reminded me of my AXGF's various infidelities came on, and it made me very uncomfortable. So uncomfortable, I grabbed my chips and Gatorade and walked out of the shop. I already lived through that once, so I don't need to relive it through music. And yet, I'm thankful to my AXGF for showing me what she was and letting me go because I'm marrying a fantastic girl in a little more than two weeks.

There's a phrase I heard from a political scientist from the UK within the past couple of years: the accommodation of difference. At some point, all relationships have to encompass this concept. We have to be able to reason together, to compromise, and to take ownership of when we do something stupid. And my fiancée and I do this really well. It portends well as we prepare to exchange our vows. Frankly, I wish we were getting married tomorrow.

And I wish we were leaving for St. Lucia tomorrow. I'm really tired and really burnt out, and I look forward to a day on St. Lucia that the hardest decision I have to make is what swim up bar we're going to hit first.

I hope you're all doing well.