Originally Posted by
vulturine 
I don't know what I'm even supposed to be doing there..
if that is in reference to AA, that depends on IF you want to recover or not.
If you want to recovery, then its said at just about every meeting when "how it works" is read:
"if you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps......"
"here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery."
going to meetings and not drinking dont treat alcoholism
do you want to recovery?
would you like someone snooping through your house?
i hope you decide to look at how your snooping around the church can effect others. it could very well get the meeting booted out.respect other peoples' property
i hope you seek out other help and support outside of AA,too.