I totally get what you mean about being restless and needing to get out, but the mall?? Dang, I get hives going there normal!! But, different strokes and all that. I'm just glad you are trying and that the talk with your gf went well. You are really lucky to have that kind of support in your life.
Hang in there and keep posting. Try to be easy on yourself. And try not to be scared. Once you are fully in it, the fear goes away. Mostly.
You can do this. It sucks, for sure, but it can be done.
So, I had a dream about pills last night. Can't remember much of the details, but I was on my way to get some and stuff kept preventing me from getting there. Then, I woke up with massive cravings. Oh man, they are terrible today. I can't concentrate on anything and I can't seem to let it go and get past it today.
I want to get high. Right now. It's making me sweaty and jittery, I want it so much, I can't even tell you.
I hope it goes away. I'm going to take my dog for a walk. See if that helps.
Love you guys.