this:
" I am a week sober and feel like I am going to die. Had labs and ultrasound taken in late June and the doctors didn't see ANYTHING but now I'm CONVINCED I've finally f***ed myself over for good and that this three-week bender pushed me over into cirrhosis and I am going to die."
then this:
" But what if my body is dying? "
youre convinced, but then IF.so your playing mind games with yourself.
not all thoughts are true. dont believe it because youre not a doctor.
"what do i do now."
go see your doctor.
go to meetings and work the steps.
powerlessness doesnt have to be only about alcohol- it can also be about thinking, which it reads like you could use some admitting youre powerless over your thinking and its unmanagable.
then proceed to step 2 on it.
i also highly suggest not allowing yourself to get cocky again.