Took me a little over a year for my "turning point" come to it's end stop.
I can't really sum up the turning point in a short sentence.
It was gory, it was gut-wrenching, and I spent about a year and a half terrified of dying and wanting to die.
It's no way to live life. At some point, we all have to figure out it's a choice.
Do or do not, we make the choice to pick up or not- nothing else.
When I realized I wasn't trapped by anything but my own head. I could start to get honest with myself.