Why am I so stupid?
We ended. He finally was sober enough to realize. He feels bad and makes al the promises again. I tell him I hope he does get help and I just need to take care of myself now. He "seemed" to get it. It was honestly nice to her the sober person if only for a few minutes. His final words were that he will make things right, win me back, prove to me he can do it, he doesn't want to lose me.... you know how it goes. I thought I did too.
Tonight, he sent a text initiating a conversation to cover a couple things, thinking it would be easier I just called wanting to make it quick. He didn't answer but sent another text saying he was busy and I should text him instead. He initiated this conversation and wants to "win" me back, but he doesn't make the effort to answer the phone but only wants to text. this goes around a few times and he resists calling.. hhhmmm. no rocket science here, he's drinking again. He made it a few hours this time.
I said well then just call when you can. Nope says I'm not being respectful of him, I have all kinds of anger, wants to stand by me but I have to stop this craziness and just text him.
What? why did I even crack the door? Here he wants to make it right, wants to talk but then won't and accuses me of being not respectful to expect him to talk instead of having fun with his friends watching football and not drinking.
Feels so manipulating. It was just meant to be a simple conversation. I know I don't want to be with him, but I guess I hoped for his wellness. I was stupid to think he'd actually try. I thought perhaps 2 months, not 2 hours. And then I get the abusive, manipulating words....again. I have often felt that he sets me up and then twists the situation back on me, accusing me of the things he's doing and really believing it.. craziness!!!!
As I began this post, why am I so stupid?