at first i thought you meant that HAVING self esteem sucks.....was curious how you arrived at that!
look it's only been a couple months of sobriety and clear headedness. just as it took a while to make the mess, it will take a while to clean it up. just as with sobriety, you will need a financial plan to get things under control. and there will not be a quick fix, sad to say. it's just important that you start NOW. Dave Ramsey is one source for debt recovery.
maybe RIGHT NOW isn't the BEST time to try to launch into a romantic anything. take this time to truly have a relationship with yourself. get to LIKE yourself. learn to LOVE yourself. so that when it's time, you have something to truly offer to another.
stay sober no matter what. it will be ok.