Just out of interest I have to ask, how did you manage to tell your sister that she was selfish in a way that managedto be non-accusatory and non-judgemental?
I think it's possibly worth laying off of any kind of judging of others, especially if we hope that they will be gracious to us. The only inventory that will get us well by taking it is our own. Taking other people's inventories kind of opens us up to them doing the same for us, and when our active alcoholic past is not in such a dim distance that , for me anyway, was painful and worth avoiding.
It might be worth taking it on the chin and accept responsibility for your part in the disagreement under the circumstances. The other option is to carry it on, and the trouble with that is, your sister might have more mud ready to sling than you do. (That is, of course, presuming that you have managed to treat people as I did most alcoholics do when they are active over their drinking years. ie with little regard for others needs, and being pretty unavailable emotionally. Perhaps you were an unusual exception to that trend though).
I took the option of laying low, apart from a few moments of madness where I stuck my head above the parapet, which I quickly regretted.
Hope it simmers down soon.
BB