Really well said, tomsteve. One way I've seen it put is this:
I am a lighthouse and not a lifeboat. I do not rescue but instead help others to find their way to shore, guiding them by my example.
While looking up that quote, I found this second part, which I have not seen before:
I cannot pull people onto a boat. I can show where there are rocks.
I cannot pull people ashore. I can show where there is land.
I cannot tell you if this is the right land. I can only show it is out of the water.
I am a lighthouse. And sometimes I need my bulb changed as well!